.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
