you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
