I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
