He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I take back everything I said about communal showers
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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