i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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