just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
