When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
