Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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