quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
