I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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