Having a random hookup so left but love u
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
