hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
