Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ladies don't puke and tell
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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