"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
