just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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