The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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