I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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