I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
