I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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