we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
