with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
