may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
