if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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