Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
