This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
