I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
