Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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