Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
