guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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