Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
