I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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