Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i will never coherently bang her
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
