His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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