I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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