Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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