Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
