why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
