dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Randomize
