We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
