I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
