Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i permit you to call me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
