the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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