He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
