Four minutes until I can fart!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
