Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
