I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
