plz talk dirty to me
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
did i just pee glitter
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
