and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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