he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
