I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
